Fragmentary, my dear Watson.

Today I am sorting through my belongings and getting rid of everything that I don't absolutely love.

Absolute love - redundancy or misnomer? Discuss.

I want to go to a Bif Naked concert but I don't know where she's playing or when. I also... like... Buffy the Vampire Slayer. *assumes defensive position*. I want the DVD collection.

I want to play in a band.

I love listening to my mom's stories and recollections of her childhood.

I want to protect the people I love. I've found that I have no idea what is best for people, nor they me, so I shall just bug off, in general. What did Thoreau say? -- something like, 'If I knew a man was coming over with the sole intention of doing me good, I would run for my life!'

I miss watching black-and-white movies on my aunt and uncle's small t.v in their bedroom while sipping a cold can of orange c-plus through a straw. The can was placed in one of those styrofoam can insulators. I miss it all. I remember.

Etymologically speaking, 'naive' or 'nice' originally meant 'ignorant'. Semantic shifts are revealing.

I want to start my own business.

I am so damned grateful. Sometimes when I'm deathly serious and lose perspective, a smile or a tragedy suddenly reminds me how often I waste myself and take people for granted. And knowing that makes me hate myself more. Must be hormones. Chemicals explain a lot of behaviour... They explain behaviour. Reactionaries unite. This whole fucking world is one huge reaction. I don't like to swear; I'm a bit of a prude (which is funny considering I'm going to hell anyway..hee hah hoh), but lately 'fuck' is THE word that best satisifies my language needs during emotional outbursts. fuck this, fuck that, fucking this and that.

I choose not to watch television. Unless Janeane Garofalo is on. Or a decent comedy. Or a thought-provoking movie. Or nudity. Or I'm bored. So much for my convictions.

I want to see The Matrix Reloaded and The Lord of the Rings. (I'm reading Tolkien's LOTR books because the author was a philologist and I've decided that philology is the answer to all of my earthly problems. Or beer is. I joke. I'm a prude, remember? But hey, prudes always turn into perverts, so, Woo-hoo!)

I am a control freak because I don't trust myself.
Note to self: Trust yourself. Trust me.

[I ate too much sugar.]