Passages from The Alchemist

"That's what alchemists do. They show that, when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too."

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"If you start out by promising what you don't even have yet, you'll lose your desire to work toward getting it."

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Personal Legend: "It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is.

"At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend."

It's a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your Personal Legend. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth."

"Even when all you want to do is travel? Or marry the daughter of a textile merchant?"

"Yes, or even search for treasure. The Soul of the World is nourished by people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one's Personal Legend is a person's only real obligation. All things are one.

"And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

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"Well, why don't you go to Mecca now?" asked the boy.

"Because it's the thought of Mecca that keeps me alive. That's what helps me face these days that are all the same, these mute crystals on the shelves, and lunch and dinner at that same horrible cafe. I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go on living."

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"In order to find the treasure, you will have to follow the omens. God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left for you."

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"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand."

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"You've got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense."

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"I want to stay at the oasis," the boy answered. "I've found Fatima, and, as far as I'm concerned, she's worth more than treasure."

"Fatima is a woman of the desert," said the alchemist. "She knows that men have to go away in order to return. And she already has her treasure: it's you. Now she expects that you will find what it is you're looking for."

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"You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love... The love that speaks the Language of the World."


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"Don't think about what you've left behind. Everything is written in the Soul of the World, and there it will stay forever. If what one finds is made of pure matter, it will never spoil. And one can always come back. If what you had found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you would find nothing on your return."

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"There is only one way to learn. It's through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.... Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World, and it will one day return there."

as the world turns a cheek

I was listening to a cd that I should not have been listening to, I told myself as I lustily threw the thing into my player and cranked up the volume. It was a reminder cd. A reminder of stuff. I heard a few songs that reminded me where my razors are. -- I am joking. I typed this out, curious to see how many entries I can write that focus on this baggage theme. It's surprisingly easy to be a one-minded girl. Good for me. Good skill in my favour.

I wrote a housing ad and I've been getting tons of responses. I haven't replied to any of them yet as I feel.. ambivalent about the process of choosing a roomie. How do I choose? First come, first served? I wouldn't be spending so much time on this admin crap but for the thoughtful inquiries themselves. Some of the them are well-thought-out works of art and it puts me off a little; I feel pressured to write a letter to each inquiry, explaining my choice: "Well, you sound too smart and I just don't feel like having those 'nature of reality' bullshit self-congratulatory discussions these days.... I like to dance in my room and I don't want you to know why the mirror isn't in the hallway when you come home unexpectedly.... I don't want you to be here all the time.... I think you're really cool and that we could be friends, so come over anyway but you can't live here because I don't want to marry you while my potential remains untapped and I want no one but myself to tap.. myself.... I don't want to teach you English.... I don't want to meet your girlfriend.... I want to listen to music with you, which means I'll never get my work done.... I might love you, and I have sworn off love because I am 12 and indignant like a rug on the carpet (Why pretend to need the rug when you already have carpet? What's the point? Why walk on them both? [That was a return to the baggage theme])." I like quite a few of these prospective roomies: two people have e-mailed me twice (eager is good), most are guys, most are 18-22 film or graphic design students, one is an environmental engineer, one is a father with 2 kids, and some seem to think I like when they write pervy things in their e-mails. I went easy on the judgment, though, 'cause I myself know how downright difficult it is to resist describing in detail the size of my thing. Only I am allowed to make pervy comments; not you, fucker. Do you think I want to live with someone like me? NO! Well, yes. But you're not me, so NO! =D

Stendhal, on Love:

When heaven has endowed you with a soul made for love, not to love is to deprive yourself and others of great happiness. It is as if an orange-tree dared not flower for fear of committing a sin. And remember that a soul made for love can never be satisfied with any other kind of happiness. After its first taste of the much-vaunted pleasures of the world, it finds them intolerably dull, and though it often believes itself fond of Art and the sublimities of Nature, these merely lead the soul back to love, and more intensely than before, if that be possible. The soul soon realizes that it is being reminded of a happiness it has forsworn.

And the reason is A. You. B. Me C. The question. D. Why am I choosing an answer when I haven't figured out what I'm asking E. . . ..

Two ESL students nailed me, the sitting duck, while I waited for a friend in front of the library today. Martin was from Germany and The Girl (I don't remember her name) hailed from Mexico. They asked me some survey questions as I cringed and braced myself for the pain of impact on the earth of shattered illusions. (I can get away with writing this because I said so.):

1. "If you were on a deserted island, what would you have with you.." [I could feel my head begin to spin -- Oh, lovely! Not THIS question! Um, I have NO IDEA! What WOULD I bring with me?? What are my priorities and values?! WHAT DO I WANT IN MY LIFE? What AM I?! (yes, i take these surveys seriously. ahem.) but thankfully the question continued in a happy way] -- "A person, or a computer?"

I think, that when posed a question as confusing as is this one [what are you REALLY asking of me? and why is the island deserted? For how long am i on this island? Is this an exile or a honeymoon trip? Does the island have electricity? Wireless? What is MY MOTIVATION here? Oh, you want to see what my default motivation is? Shit. Can't you just GIVE me one to work with?] with only two options as answers, the answer that is the most strange and ridiculous-sounding to your current state of mind will be the one upon which your mind focuses. Your confused mind will play with the ridiculous answer. It will puzzle over this thought that seems inconsistent with the current Modus operandi, in simultaneous awe and disgust; and then, the mind will do it! This reasoning explains entirely the existence of the highjump, and sex, and this blog, and my fashion sense, and my sense of timing.

This also explains why "person!!" was the first word to come out of my mouth in response. Yes. I have everything figured out. Anyway, I was so grateful at the time for having had only the two options available and that I didn't have to think or reveal my thinking process and character and lack thereof, so I let my first answer stand.

2. "If you could go anywhere in a time machine..." [Fukkkk.] "to which would you want to travel, the past or the future?" [Okay, at least I have only two options again.. I can handle this]. For this one, i was thinking, 'hmmm, do they really want to know what I think? No, this is just an English speaking exercise for them. But they did ask, so.... HAHahhahaa, suckas.' Instead of outting myself as weird by sounding like some quirky newage smartass type [*shout outs*], I outted myself as weird by sounding like some similar, less cutting-edge-80s smartass type. I don't know. I bit my lip and said with as much of the straight on my face that I could muster, "There is only now." At that moment the clouds parted and the light shone from the heavens above, onto where I stood in my self-satisfied glory, beside a pile of doggie doo-doo. [Good thing those last two weren't reversed.] That's right folks, the guru had spoken. Haha I felt like such an ass. Ass me no more questions.

3. "Has technology harmed life, or made it better?" This time I almost started laughing. Wrong question, dude. I didn't know where to begin or how to answer this one. For the sake of brevity and inaccuracy, I didn't request that we define the meaning of technology or anything like that. Instead, I did what I'd done countless times in school when I thought an essay test question was pointless: I answered it anyway. :) But first I gave a little disclaimer about how technology is a means to help us do what we want, so we must first have a goal. I don't know what the hell I was talking about.

4. "How much time do you spend on the computer?"

Too much.

Thus ended the questioning minute 'o joy. I asked them what the survey was for; if it was for a project. They answered, 'Our teacher sent us out to talk with Canadians. Are you a real Canadian? There aren't many of them around here.'

"Yes, I was born in Ontario. Where is your school? --" I kept talking with them but they tried to run away. People! You told me that you are doing the survey to practice your English! I was talking with you! And I'm Canadian! The survey is a TOOL, mothafukkers! Like technology! Use the TOOL to enrich YOU! Get your asses back here! Hellooooo -- Don't you understand English?! Oh, -- uh, that's right, you don't.

I think it's good to know why we do things. I think it's good to do things for a reason.

Snow in my dad's backyard.

Ask...

Today we are going snowmobiling! Two days ago, the ground was sparse and wet and brown. What kind of snowmobiling conditions are those? Exactly. So, we asked for snow! And, we received snow in abundance. In so much abundance, that the roads were closed and we couldn't drive the 5 miles down the road to reach the snowmobiles. =D

On a completely unrelated note (do those exist...?), I had a dream last night. No, do not worry, I am not in the mood to share with the world (as I'm sure the world reads this) my wet dreams. I watched 'Troy' yesterday. Salivated over Brad Pitt. Orlando Bloom's character just wasn't up to the heroic task of winning my heart. I am off to snowmobile now; will update later. Lately, facing the past; now, growing up a tad. Slowly and surely.

I just read this over and from what I wrote, you'd think I was about to accept a straight boy's marriage proposal. No. I say Yes to LIfe! haha. (Oh, did I say that I was maturing? I meant that my jokes were getting old.) And the dream was symbolically wet -- hard to grasp. I sat in the feeling this morning, and recalled that I am master of my fate and discerner of worthy endeavours. Woohoo. Good to know.

Yes to life. Yes to jumping right in, over my head. Yes to gotta go but be back later.

Homeopathy: "Similar Suffering"

Like cures like: "For example, if a person is suffering from allergies, a doctor may give the person a substance that will trigger the body to reproduce similar allergic symptoms, to heal them."

[Heal the *allergies*, not the symptoms.]