as the world turns a cheek

I was listening to a cd that I should not have been listening to, I told myself as I lustily threw the thing into my player and cranked up the volume. It was a reminder cd. A reminder of stuff. I heard a few songs that reminded me where my razors are. -- I am joking. I typed this out, curious to see how many entries I can write that focus on this baggage theme. It's surprisingly easy to be a one-minded girl. Good for me. Good skill in my favour.

I wrote a housing ad and I've been getting tons of responses. I haven't replied to any of them yet as I feel.. ambivalent about the process of choosing a roomie. How do I choose? First come, first served? I wouldn't be spending so much time on this admin crap but for the thoughtful inquiries themselves. Some of the them are well-thought-out works of art and it puts me off a little; I feel pressured to write a letter to each inquiry, explaining my choice: "Well, you sound too smart and I just don't feel like having those 'nature of reality' bullshit self-congratulatory discussions these days.... I like to dance in my room and I don't want you to know why the mirror isn't in the hallway when you come home unexpectedly.... I don't want you to be here all the time.... I think you're really cool and that we could be friends, so come over anyway but you can't live here because I don't want to marry you while my potential remains untapped and I want no one but myself to tap.. myself.... I don't want to teach you English.... I don't want to meet your girlfriend.... I want to listen to music with you, which means I'll never get my work done.... I might love you, and I have sworn off love because I am 12 and indignant like a rug on the carpet (Why pretend to need the rug when you already have carpet? What's the point? Why walk on them both? [That was a return to the baggage theme])." I like quite a few of these prospective roomies: two people have e-mailed me twice (eager is good), most are guys, most are 18-22 film or graphic design students, one is an environmental engineer, one is a father with 2 kids, and some seem to think I like when they write pervy things in their e-mails. I went easy on the judgment, though, 'cause I myself know how downright difficult it is to resist describing in detail the size of my thing. Only I am allowed to make pervy comments; not you, fucker. Do you think I want to live with someone like me? NO! Well, yes. But you're not me, so NO! =D